B90X: FEEL THE POWER!

Have you ever thought to yourself: “What does it take to be Ben Snowden? How does he unleash such Bensanity and Bentensity upon the world without losing control? How does he bench press school buses without breaking a sweat?”

The answer to all of these questions is B90X! If you wanna be a ripped, stacked, alpha male or female, you gotta pick up the B90X DVD set! This workout and diet plan will change your life, your dental health, and your body odor, so stop being a stinky, weak, cavity-filled loser, and get with the program!

Be warned, though, this great product isn’t for anyone who lacks supreme dedication and discipline! You have to have the motivation to work out for 2 minutes every day, or B90X will tear you to shreds!

If you have the focus to do lightweight bicep curls and to pose in front of mirrors for your entire workout while you let out rude, loud grunts, then welcome aboard! YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES, AND YOU WILL SUCCEED AT LIFE AND FIND A HIGHLY ATTRACTIVE MATE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IF YOU FOLLOW MY PLAN! YOUR CAR WILL BE LUXURIOUS AND YOUR JEWEL-ENCRUSTED MANSION WILL MAKE LEBRON JAMES FEEL LIKE A HOMELESS MAN!

Sorry folks, the Bentensity got away from me there, but I’m passionate about B90X! This 18-DVD set will show you all the tips and tricks to harness your inner Bensanity and conquer everything! If you don’t have superpowers by the time you’re finished with B90X, I’ll return none of your 3 payments of $99.99!

I’m a wise businessman, friends, and I know we live in tough economic times, so I’m giving you a sample of the B90X workout and diet plan…IF YOU CAN HANDLE IT! It worked for grade-A celebrities like Pauly Shore and Burt Reynolds so IT MAY OR MAY NOT WORK FOR YOU!

-B90X Workout Sample-

Punch the floor for two minutes while grimacing and yelling like a wounded zebra

-B90X Diet Sample-

8:00 am – 1 can of Spam, 3 raw eggs, and 2 popcorn-flavored Jelly Belly jelly beans

11:00 pm – 1 Big Mac, 1 Whopper, 1 glass liquidized elephant meat

2:00 pm – 1 large eggnog milkshake, 6 slices deep fried white bread, 1 whole meat lover’s pizza

5:00 pm – A salad made of spinach greens, chopped carrots, and red cabbage topped with balsamic vinaigrette

8:00 pm – 2 Fig Newtons, 2 slices of apple pie, 3 pounds of Nutter Butters